Thank you all for the feedback and the messages. Since quite some people seem to stumble over the German nickname Matze, I will change it to Mat for the rest of the story. And now without further ado back to the summer of 2020.

---

Mat stayed overnight. I loved it and I remember that I didn't want to fall asleep, wanting to savor every minute of the time we had together. We talked far into the night. Not about what would happen with our now changed (and messed) relationship but about our past. We had talked about some of these things before on our afternoons and evenings together but it was different now after we made love.

I told him about all the times I have had a crush on someone during my youth and had been too inhibited to talk to them. How I later repelled all sexual advances from men who were interested in me as a woman. I talked with him about how difficult it had been for me to come to terms with my body and how I had always felt inferior when I compared myself with other women. He wanted to hear nothing about it and told me that I was beautiful the way I am. Apart from that he said that, for him, my personality was the most pretty and precious quality he loved about me. Now, while I am writing this down, that might sound like a cheesy thing to say but it also feels incredibly good to have the person you love tell you this while you are in his arms.

He was very open with me and told me in detail about the sexual experiences he was having in the past. How he had felt during his first time (right after he had gotten his motorcycle driving license) and then the twelve other flings and relationships he had. I was rather surprised that he had slept with that many women before. He didn't talk about Nadine. There was a silent agreement between us to not bring her up at that evening.

What really put me off and led to a very awkward discussion was when he told me about the last time he had sex with another woman, which had been with a prostitute in 2018 while he was on a business trip to Dresden. That really shocked me multi-plane. Funny enough the first thing that came to my mind (but I said nothing about) was that this meant he had been unfaithful towards Nadine while they were married. I mean, seriously ? That is the first thing? After we just had cheated on her in almost the same manner?

Anyway what I am trying to say here and what I told Mat as well is that it is completely beyond me why he would do such a thing. For me, I could never imagine having sex in real life with a person I know nothing about, just for the carnal satisfaction. He could not really explain to me why he had done it. What sticks in my mind from our heated discussion is that he had always regretted to never having tried paid sex. During his time in the army many of his comrades had boasted about how thrilling it is to "buy" a woman , but back then he had been too restrained and never joined them during their excursions.

If you didn't know, prostitution is sadly legalized in Germany. I find the notion of it abhorrent. Many people working in the red light districts and brothels across the country are victims of human trafficking from Eastern Europe or Africa. Even if that is not the case most are not in this business by choice but rather out of desperation. Why a otherwise civilized country like Germany keeps allowing this remains a mystery to me.

In the end we agreed that this had been stupid, but I have the feeling to this date he just wanted to stop quarreling with me. While I am writing this down, I realize how strange it is that I let something like this slide until today. If any other guy had told me this I would never have wanted him in my life. Maybe love is if we can forgive unforgivable flaws? At the time I remember that I mostly felt irritated because it seemed so out of character for him. But I also felt elated that he confided such a dark secret to me.

The next morning I woke up first. I got up, activated my coffee machine and started making eggs. Eggs and tomatoes is something even a horrible cook such as myself can't substantially fuck up. Mat joined me in the kitchen, hugged me from behind and kissed my neck. We sat down at my tiny wooden table as I served the breakfast and then he finally said the words which I didn't have the courage to speak. How would we proceed from here.

He began talking. The essence was that he did not regret anything that had happened between us the other night, but despite that he loved Nadine.

I knew that. From the start of it I had known that I could only steal some small fraction of his affection. Somebody like me could never replace someone like Nadine. I truthfully told him that I would never expect him or wanted him to leave his wife for me. I cried and said that we would have to tell her what happened. We at least owed her that.

He argued calmly against it. Stating that this would be a destructive thing to do. We should rather keep this between us and deal with our emotions ourselves.

What we both agreed upon was that we wanted to stay friends, that this should not destroy the relationship we had built over the years and especially over the past weeks and months. He was worried that bringing Nadine into this could endanger this intention.

Mat can often times be very convincing but on this morning I was not persuaded. Trust in any relationship is an invaluable currency. His solution might have been initially the least hurtful for the three of us but it wouldn't have been right. I had betrayed my best friends trust the night before. This was probably the most selfish thing I have done in my life to date. The least I could do now was to give her the option to decide how to deal with her feelings about what happened. I am also absolutely convinced that such a secret can never be kept hidden. Nadine would subconsciously have known that something had changed and it would just be cruel to keep her in the dark.

When he accepted that I would not be keeping quiet about our affair he asked me to allow him to speak to his wife first. I agreed to that, feeling relieved that he would take this upon himself. As resolved as I had been about it then, I had failed miserably at talking with Nadine about my feelings and desires the last time, just earlier that week.

I want to tell you now that we left it like that and carried on with our plan like the reasonable adults we are. Well...

After our discussion we hugged, I cried a little more and then I decided I would feel much better after a good hot shower. When I had turned on the water I saw the door opening through the glass panel and Mat stepped inside. He asked me if I would allow him to join me. To be honest I wanted nothing more than to have him with me for just a little while longer. This must be a psychological thing. I mean, just a couple of minutes ago I have been going on about how important it is to do the right thing and not to betray the trust of anyone and here I am doing it again.

He stripped naked quickly after I smilingly invited him in. Our wet bodies mingled together and I enjoyed his kisses and touches all over my body. I felt his hardening cock pressing against my back as his left hand caressed my small breasts and his right hand wandered deeper between my legs. I turned my head slightly to the right and we soul kissed each other with closed eyes under the stream of hot water.

He then knelt down and started licking my clit and my pussy again like he had done the previous evening. I tilted my left leg a little to give him better access even though being a little afraid of slipping on the wet shower floor. As I marveled his handiwork down there in the bright light I felt the intense desire to return this favor and explore him with my mouth as well.

First he insisted on cleaning himself which meant that he was coating me all over with liquid soap while I did the same for him. It felt incredibly erotic as our increasingly sleazy bodies rubbed together. Then I kneeled down and carefully cleaned the thinning foam off his member and balls with soft touches. I took my time to observe everything before me and gently traced the big vein on the left side of his penis back to his trimmed pubic area. Thereafter I kissed the tip of his shaft and worked my probing tongue all the way down to the base were it met his testicles.

My heart was beating faster now as I blinked some water out of my eyes and put my lips clumsily around his cock. I started bobbing my head up and down before he stopped me and showed me how he liked it better. Mat obviously loves it when I swirl my tongue around the lower side of his cock, where his frenulum connects to his foreskin. He also likes it when I open up wide and put him as far down in my mouth and throat as I can manage. But I am ahead of myself. This was my first blowjob after all and I am pretty certain that my skill in this area were rivaled only by my cooking skills at that point in time.

While showering together is a very sexy thing to do, fucking is quite an awkward affair, at least in my small cubicle. It's slippery and cramped and I never know where to bend and turn. In the final stages Mat had my small body in the air and pressed my back against the tiled wall. I had my legs crossed behind his butt, arms behind his neck while caressing his hair and willing him to plunge deeper into me with each thrust until he came hard inside me.

When we returned to my living room and got dressed Mat spotted a voice message from Nadine. It felt like we had been caught red handed. He also seemed to be embarrassed and told me after listening to her message, that she would leave Aachen on Sunday morning and would be back some time between afternoon and evening.

Technically that would give us a full additional day together, a small devious voice in the back of my head kept whispering , but after her call, the spell between us died away quickly. When he left my apartment shortly afterwards, we hugged quickly like the friends we had always been. He assured me to text or call me, as soon as he had spoken with Nadine tomorrow evening.

My emotions after he left are best described as complacent. I knew of course that, come tomorrow, my live and the lives of my friends would be changed for better or worse. Looking back I am not above admitting that a small part of me might have wished for this confession to destroy my friends relationship. So that I could have Mat all for myself.

Other people often described me as emphatic and kind, quick to make people smile. On that Saturday afternoon I'd rather say that I have become the villainesse in the story of my live.

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