"Start at my knees and work up, love child, lick the insides of my thighs. That tongue of yours is, as the saying goes, heavenly."

I did as she said and began licking the insides of her knees and slowly, slurp at a time, worked my way up toward her pouty pussy. Again, as I drew closer to her pussy, I thought I heard a heavenly choir. Suddenly, I knew I did. I really did hear a heavenly choir. The sounds came directly from her pussy. I paused and listened for a second to what the choir was singing.

A hundred women’s voices were singing, in perfect harmony, "Ah!" Then I heard deeper men’s voices sing, "Oh yes!" That was damned strange. Whoever heard of a singing pussy?

"Don’t listen to the music, get busy and do your duty." She ordered.

Still shaken at the reality of a singing pussy, I collected my thoughts and commenced licking. I smelled orange blossoms when my nose touched the first silky hair of her neatly trimmed bush.

HaaaChooo!" I sneezed.

"Holy orgasms, Batman, do it again!" Her whole body trembled and her hairs tickled my nose as my lips touched her clit. I did it again. She vibrated all over. "Get up here and slam it to me, down and dirty!"

I slid my body upward until I slipped myself deep inside her. She reached behind me and grabbed the cheeks of my ass. She slammed me into her and I had the wildest ride of my life. She vibrated, and I hung on for dear life. Did you know guys could have multiple orgasms? I did. I had six of them, one right after the other.

Finally, all wore out, I rolled off her, moaned and fell off the picnic table, landing hard on the ground. "Oh fuck," I moaned.

"You just did, wunderkind, and a fine job of fucking it was." She sat up on the table and looked down at me lying on the ground. "Why don’t you get up and get dressed. You look so silly and uncomfortable laying there on the ground all in a heap."

"Oh Christ, I can’t," I told her. "I’m all wore out.

"Don’t swear," she told me primly. "It doesn’t become you. Get dressed. We have some shopping to do for your new house."

Slowly, I climbed to my feet and staggered over to where my clothing was neatly piled. I reached for my boxers. They jumped away from me. I reached again and they jumped out of my reach. "Forget the undies," she said. You don’t need them anyway."

I grabbed my shirt, before it could get away from me, and slipped it on. I bent down for my jeans and they let me take them up and put them on. When I sat down and leaned over, to put my shoes and socks on, I was so weak and worn out, I had trouble tying them. I was truly 'fucked to a frazzle,' as the saying goes.

"Here, let me do that," she said. All at once, my shoestrings jerked themselves out of my fingers and tied themselves. "Let’s go." She hopped off the picnic table and was miraculously dressed again. I unsteadily started to walk toward the truck.

I reached to open the truck door to get in when she said, "Here, I’ll take over, you’re in no condition to drive." I nodded and staggered around and got in on the passenger side.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. Right then I wasn’t too sure I could keep up such a heavy pace. My whole body seemed empty. It felt great to sit with my eyes closed. "Don’t get too comfortable there, my studly guy, we have some shopping to do for your new house." I cocked an eye open and saw her smiling.

"What new house?" I asked warily.

"Why the one I just rewarded you with. We’ll pick up your new car when we get downtown." She smiled a sweet, gentle smile, all full of love and good will. "Lover chop, you have invented a whole new sex act. You must be adequately rewarded for this wondrous deed. A new house and a car will be for starters. We’ll see what comes next."

I tried to clear my head by shaking it. That did nothing. "Uh, what new sex act?" That feeling of everything being unreal was back again with a vengeance. "All I did was to—" I got no further.

"You sneezed me off. So far as I know, that's a whole new one." Her smile became a big happy grin, "When you sneezed, that sudden blast of air inflated my womb. What a sensation that was. It was truly a heavenly orgasm. And when your lips sputtered on my clitoris, well, I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven all over again. Everybody will be so jealous of me when I get back home. A sneeze job is nothing to be sneezed at, pun intended."

"Uh, well, okay." She made me more confused every time she opened her mouth. My brain was worn to a frazzle right then. In fact, everything about me was frazzled out. I was just plain old, shot to hell.

We parked in front of the Chevy dealership. "Come on, stud muffin," she said and hopped out of the car. Let’s go get your new convertible."

My knees were still wobbly. She held the door open for me. I nodded my thanks and staggered toward the front door of the dealership. "Oh, I know what you need." She touched her hand to my face. Suddenly, I was charged with new energy. All at once, I felt strong as a bull.

"How did you do that?" I felt like I could go plow a field and be my own tractor. "I feel great, how did you do that?"

"It’s called ‘Angel Power,’ honey bun." She patted my ass in a real suggestive manner. All she had on her mind was sex, sex, and more sex. Hell, that was all right with me. I had a big interest in sex my own self. But it still just plain old seemed real un-angelic-like behavior to me.

She did that mind reading trick again. "Look, lollypop boy, do you think all we do is hang around Heaven all day and all night, whacking out tunes on harps, or singing in the Heavenly Choir? That shit would get boring real easy. That’s why sex was invented in the first place, to give normal beings an outlet for their nervous energy."

"Huh?" She stumped me for sure just then. "Look, I been taught that sex was for procreation and nothing else."

"Well you been taught wrong, my little hump stick. Whoever taught you that? Whoever it was, is as full of shit as a Christmas goose."

"My mother taught me that," I answered her, full of righteous indignation. "So you leave my mother out of this conversation. Mothers is holy in Oklahoma, even the old douche bags."

"Didn’t your mother also say not to have sex until your honeymoon? You ever been married?" she had that smirk back on her face.

"Well, no, but that’s a different matter." I had a feeling she was setting me up again and I was trying to figure out just where she was going with all this.

"What would you say if a preacher told you to wait for marriage before you got a piece?" She knew she had me there.

"I’d say he was full of shit," I told her honestly.

"Well, if the preacher is full of shit for saying it, why isn’t—"

"Don’t say it!" I yelled at her, "Okay, sometimes mothers are full of shit. Are you happy now?"

"Hey, don’t you go yellin’ at this here little lady." Some big stranger grabbed me by the shoulder. "And if you say something else against mothers here in Oklahoma, I’m gonna punch your lights out. Mothers is holy here in Oklahoma and don’t you forget it."

I drew back, ready to smack the big asshole, when Angel stepped between us. She reached up and caressed his cheek. His squinty little pig eyes got big and round. His mouth opened, also round. But not a word came out. Suddenly he looked horrified down at the front of his Levis. I looked too and saw a big, dark, wet stain down there.

"That’s not pee staining your jeans, Dwight, you getter go home and change. You sure wasted a good charge that time." She spoke so sweet to him it took me a couple of seconds to catch on. I even felt sorry for him as he turned around and ran off. The last I saw of him, he jumped in an old Chevy pickup truck and went smoking down the road. I thought that boy had to be real repressed to get his rocks off with just a pat on the cheek and nothing else.

"Don’t look down your nose at that poor fellow," Angel told me. She smiled wickedly at me and caressed my cheek. For a bare second I thought I was going to shoot off, right then and there. "Angel power," she said.

She took me by the hand and led me into the local dealership. "Hi," she greeted the salesman at the door. Is Rupert Morgan’s new Blazer ready yet?"

"Yes ma’am, it certainly is. If you’ll come this way," He bowed us into his office. Angel opened her bag of tricks and pulled out what looked to me like all the money she had taken back from Harold Loomis. She tossed it on the desk and I signed papers, while the salesman counted out the cash. Less than a half hour later, we left with the title to the first new vehicle I ever had in my life in my hip pocket. I grabbed her up and kissed her. Her lips automatically opened and we started necking right there on Main Street.

We went for a ride out to the edge of town and revisited the picnic table again. This time it was gentler and less frantic. I gently held her in my arms as we coupled slowly, gently. My heart was full of many new and unfamiliar feelings. I decided I was in love with an angel!

"Ah, ah, ah, none of that Rupe. Don’t go getting all mushy on me. Affairs are fine, sport fucking is great but marriage is out of the question. Chicky dick, whenever an angel marries an earth person it always ends in disaster." She smiled sadly at me.

"You’ll get older and I never age. The first twenty years or so there is deep love. Then for the next twenty or so years you will have this great pride of ownership as people see the gorgeous, young looking creature on your arm and sharing your bed. Then that finally turns to resentment, which quickly becomes hate when you finally come to realize you are getting older and I haven’t aged one day. You come face to face with your own mortality and that’s all she wrote."

"Yeah, I guess you’re right." I told her. I decided I would enjoy the hell out of whatever time we had together and that would be that. "Let’s go get a hamburger then," I told her. "All this exercise has made me work up an appetite."

She pushed me off of her and miraculously got dressed while I had to do it the old fashioned way. "That’s my sex boytoy," she laughed. "Let’s go."

2 "The Devil You Say"

That evening we attended the box lunch and country-dance. Angel expressed keen disappointment when she found our version of "box lunches" weren't sexual events. But, she was a good sport about it and whammied up a nice little Kentucky fried box of goodies. I bid on her box and Harold Loomis bid against me. Suddenly, I felt a squirmy feeling in my right jeans pocket. I reached in and pulled out a big wad of cash.

"Well, Rupert," I said to me, "I bet this means Angel the angel wants me to bid up her box." I heard the heavenly choir go, "Ah!"

"How much do you bid for the rest of her?" Somebody yelled. Everybody laughed.

"A hundred dollars for her box," I yelled and held up a hundred dollar bill.

"A hundred and one dollars," Harold yelled back.

"Two fucking hundred dollars!" I yelled. And Harold bid a dollar more. And so it went, all the way up to nine hundred dollars.

"That’s my money you stole from me when I stole your farm, so that money is morally and legally mine!" He ran across the dance floor and grabbed for the money in my hand. "And I out bid you and I want your whore."

Now that was a little too much for the auctioneer, who finally decided he better end the bidding on Angel’s box before things got out of hand. So he yelled, "Sold to Rupe Morgan!"

I swaggered up and placed all ten of the hundred dollar bills in his hand. "It’s going for a good cause, so I’ll just make it a thousand dollars even. The high school football team can use this and a lot more." There was dead silence in the dance hall as I led Angel over to one of the picnic tables set up for the lucky bidders to eat their victory lunches. We sat and she opened the box. That Heavenly male choir hummed, "Mm!" She handed me some strange looking white fluffy stuff. It looked almost like a fluff of cotton with a solid center.

"What’s this?" I asked.

"Manna," she answered.

"I thought ‘manna’ was how Mexicans said tomorrow." I wondered what the stuff really was.

"Ma? is Spanish for tomorrow," she said patiently. "Eat your food."

"Okay," I said doubtfully. I wasn’t one to try too much foreign cooking. Fat back and beans and poke salad was fine for me. If I wanted something fancy, I get me some ham and okra. Then I took a taste. My mouth went to heaven all by its own self. Whatever that stuff was, it was good. "Holy cow!" I grinned, " This is really good." I reached for another one and got my knuckles cracked. It didn’t hurt, but it made me draw back.

"Don’t be such a red neck. Let a lady have a bite. This is a romantic food." She delicately reached into the box and pulled out more of the stuff. She took a lady like nibble and pressed it to my lips and I took a bite. It had a different flavor, but was as good as the first bite.

Up to then I had been sitting across the table from her. I got up and sat right next to her. I was getting horny again. "Not now, silly lamb," she chided me. Wait till we get home tonight after the dance. I have plans for you."

"Just one question, when your plans for me are over will I be hurt, herniated, halt or lame? In fact, will I still be among the living?" Angel was giving me too much new at one time. I turned to watch Carl Fotheringill proudly escort Desire Mae and Beulah through the front door.

Angel saw where I was looking and said, "Now there’s a match made in heaven." Heaven? I thought to myself. I remembered the previous dance where Beulah learned the fine art of eating pussy and the rest of the dancegoers got to watch a great sex show. Heaven, I thought to myself, I don’t think so.

"And you know what? They are they're both pregnant and will deliver in eight and a half months." She looked at the happy threesome for a moment and said, "There."

"There what?" I asked.

"I thought it would be kind of cute if they both delivered twins at the same time." She smiled at me and said, "Angel power."

"Oh," I answered. I was fast running out of smart mouthed comebacks. Let me tell you, the great sexual side benefits aside, hanging out with an angel gets hard on the nerves.

---

We had our box lunch and chatted with other couples when suddenly right at the stroke of midnight all the doors in the Humper County Community Center were blasted off their hinges, even the cupboard doors in the kitchen went flying to the floor. When the bathroom door fell away from its hinges Clementine Stanley was trying to pull her slacks up over her two hundred fifty pound ass. She grinned all embarrassed like and struggled all the harder. Willard Flagler Took one look at all that divine pork. Let out a whoop and ran to her rescue. He whispered something in her ear and she stopped struggling. Willard expertly worked the stretched to the limit stretch pants up over her ass and proudly escorted her to his table.

Suddenly every window in the building exploded inward, showering everybody with fine bits of glass. The stench of all the worst, sourest and most rancid farts ever let out by human behinds permeated the whole room. "Smells like someone shit his pants," I told Angel.

"Uh oh, I don’t like the looks of this," Angel murmured. "Be careful and get ready to duck, my little animated dildo. That smell ain’t shit, it’s brimstone." She waved her hands in the air and all the broken glass came together in the middle of the dance floor in a neat pile, just waiting for someone to sweep it up and toss it in a trashcan.

"Master!" Harold Loomis shouted and bowed down facing the door. A big, tall individual wearing a pimp suit, complete with a broad brimmed mink hat came strutting in. He looked around the room and sneered.

"Sit quietly here at the table, no matter what happens." Angel ordered. I sat and decided it was time to be as quiet and inconspicuous as I could.

The stranger looked around at the people in the community center. He sneered and looked down at Harold Loomis. "Get up you slimy fawning asshole. You are not worthy to grovel in my presence."

"Yes Master," Harold answered him and hurriedly got to his feet.

"Hey, shit for brains," Angel called across the dance floor at the intruder. "You know it against the rules for you to start a coven and personally preside over it. You wanna spend another ten thousand years in chains?" There was an aura formed around Angel, a soft, golden glow that illuminated the room with its light. That glow seemed to seep into every part of my very being and heal hurts and aches I never knew I had before then.

"Well, if it isn’t the Doctor Ruth of the Celestial kingdom." The stranger stared across the room at her with a world of hatred in his eyes. His face had a goat like appearance. His thick lips were not sensuous in any way. They looked, self indulgent, cruel and misshapen. There was an evil power about him. He seemed to almost glow with a black, unearthly flame. I was scared just looking at him.

"Master, make her turn that golden light off, please. It hurts me." Harold Loomis looked like he was in a world of hurt, standing there twitching every which way.

"Shut up and suffer, you nasty little slime. You might as well get used to it, you’re going to spend an eternity feeling much worse."

"But master, I followed the directions in ‘The Devil’s Own Handbook’ on how to sell my soul to you." I almost felt sorry for the little bastard.

"You didn’t tell me you were a banker," the Devil sneered. "I don’t have to buy a banker’s soul. It’s already mine, along with judges and politicians and most preachers. You tried to cheat me."

"Harold didn’t answer. He bowed his head and slowly twitched his way outside. I heard him scream back inside at me once he was out of Angel’s light, "This is all your fault, Rupert Morgan! If you had let me cheat you fair and square none of this would have happened. I hate the Hell out of you."

"Aren’t you glad you’re a good guy, my darling nibble buddy?" Angel smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder.

Suddenly twin shafts of black flame shot from the Devil’s outstretched hand. Both were aimed at Angel. Then at the last split second one veered toward me. Somehow Angel blocked them both and sent them back at the Devil. She began singing, "Return to sender," an old country western song.

"You dirty bitch!" the Devil shouted. "That should have fried your present eunuch who tries to be a man to a black crisp. You’re getting help from someone else. That’s not fair either."

The male heavenly choir filled the community center’s main hall with a few bars of "Oh yes, hmmm!" Then the female angelic chorus sounded with, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!" I looked around to see where the sounds were coming from. I couldn’t see anything.

"You cheated so I counter cheated. The Boss said it was quite permissible to counter cheat on you. We just can’t do it first so___" Her voice faded and all at once there were what seemed like millions of bolts of golden lightening zapping the Devil. Out in the parking lot I heard an explosion and a scream.

"You blew up my Humper County Helper!" the Devil shouted and tried to counter attack. It was all over in seconds and the Devil shouted, "Curses!" and disappeared.

"He’s such a jerk," Angel said to me. I guess that’s why he’s the Devil, he can’t get anything right."

"Uh, you mean there really is a Satan?" I asked her. This was real mind-boggling information. For some reason I never really thought there was a real Hell presided over by a real Devil. "Well, shit!" I exclaimed.

"That’s what he does best, misdirects people." She waved a hand and the broken bits of glass quickly rose into the air and floated towards the various empty windows. Within seconds the glass had all reformed itself in each window so that all the panes were replaced. There was one difference though, now they were all now clean.

Everybody looked at each other and back at Angel. One lone soul started to clap and then another until the hall was filled with the sounds of clapping hands and cheers.

"Come on, Rupert baby, we have time for on last goodbye fuck and I want to make it a doozy. She took me by the hand and pulled me out to the new Blazer with the custom convertible top and fancy roll bars.

"You drive," I said, "Right now my mind is so totally blown I don’t think I could drive us anywhere." I got in on the passenger side and sat. Angel got in behind the wheel and started the engine. We drove off quickly as the band started to play another slow dance. One thing about the small farm towns in Oklahoma, nothing will interfere for very long with a Saturday night dance. Well, sex has been known to divert our attention for a little bit, but that’s more in the lines of incorporation than interference.

When the Blazer pulled up in my driveway a series of outside floodlights came on. There was a circular drive with a bug fishpond in the center. A big, beautiful statue of a naked winged angel stood in the middle holding a stone hose that looked suspiciously like a prick. The house with the port au chez extending out over the drive looked humongous.

"What…?" I couldn’t get any further. I was speechless.

"Well, aren’t you going to carry a naked girl over the threshold?" she asked.

I turned and looked. She was completely naked. "Oh. Of course," I swept her up in my arms and carried her across the threshold. As we entered I heard that heavenly choir of angels sing in perfect unison, "Oh yeah."

I carefully placed her on the floor and started to undress. All my clothes fell off of me. Suddenly I was suspended in the air and my shoes both came off at the same time. Angel slowly came over to me and bent over and took me in her mouth. "Hot damn!" the male choir sang. Then I got busy and ignored all those lecherous angels who were watching.

After a few minutes of sucking, she took my hand and drew me to the floor. "Rupert, baby, this is our farewell fuck and we are going to do it up in high style. Come to Mama." Of course we started off going sixty-nine. The feeling was literally "out of this world." Each slow up and down motion on my peter created a long drawn out cycle of passion. I was aware of her lips as they surrounded and engulfed me. Her tongue seemed to vibrate and flutter, sending spasms of thrills through out my whole body. I was aware of each and every sensation I felt as her teeth gently nibbled and gnawed.

My mind was incapable of thought. I could only experience feelings and emotions of the most primitive kind. I also experienced a deep, passionate love like I had never felt before in my life. Slowly we changed around and she whispered insistently in my ear,

"Fuck me hard, fuck me long, and fuck me deep!" I did my best to oblige.

As the last spasm of the last orgasm subsided, she rolled over and said, "Take me in my ass. Now!" I still thought this was unseemly speech for an angel. But another part of me said, "Shut up and fuck!" That is exactly what I did. The last one was world class. I finished it off and passed out still in her.

I awoke the next morning and she was gone. There was no sign anywhere she had ever been there. The carpet on the floor was still some of a thick pile woven material. I walked outside and saw my new Custom Blazer convertible. The fishpond was still in the center of the new circular drive. The naked winged angel was still in the center holding a stone hose that still liked like a hard penis. I looked down into the water and saw, naturally, angelfish. I looked up at the statue and smiled. It bore a striking resemblance to either Betty Boop or Angel. Then the statue winked at me and smiled and I knew.

I was standing there naked when I heard a car pull up in the drive behind me. I turned around and saw a very pretty woman about my own age. She looked so wholesome I was surprised she didn’t back out and take off when she saw me standing there with nothing on.

"Hi," she said, "I’m looking for the town of Humper. Can you tell me where it is?" She stared at my slowly hardening cock and smiled. "Is it house broken?" she asked.

"Come on in the house and I’ll get you a map and show you where you went wrong." I turned back toward the front porch.

"I think I started to go wrong when I pulled into your driveway." She laughed and I heard the car door slam shut as she got out and followed me into the house. The male angelic choir sang "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Those peeping toms were still around watching.

"What was that?" she asked as she heard the voices.

"It’s the acoustics in this place. It’s a new house." I turned and kissed her.

Three hours later I led her out of the house and handed her into my Blazer. I got the top to roll back and drove her into Humper. She was the new schoolteacher and my new roommate as well. "Way to go!" the statue called softly to me.

"What was that" Did you hear a voice?" Melinda Coy asked. She looked around and saw nothing.

"Oh, you’ll get used to it," I reassured her. "This place has some special qualities." I stopped at the picnic grounds and showed her the interesting spots down by the riverbank. She was very interested in riverbanks, it seemed.

I figured if I had sneezed a third time in her pussy, Angel would have probably taken me back to Heaven with her.

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