Youth FLTI Session 5
Published on Oct 01, 2021
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PRESENTATION OUTLINE
Success Stories Sharing Time
Photo by Clément M.
HOPES
Photo by Graham Durham
Attitude of Gratitude
15 minutes
Set Up>
Explain that leadership can be challenging and sometimes in noticing the negative things in our schools and neighborhoods can make us forget all of the positives around us.
This brief activity gives us a chance to refocus on the positive things in our lives.
Process > Using the process in Success Sharing of having persons randomly volunteer and tossing them the Koosh Ball, have each person give one thing they are grateful for in their lives.
Encourage them to do this daily to help them go forth with an “Attitude of Gratitude”
Debrief > Why is this an important leadership skill?
Explain that leadership can be challenging and sometimes in noticing the negative things in our schools and neighborhoods can make us forget all of the positives around us.
This brief activity gives us a chance to refocus on the positive things in our lives.
Process > Using the process in Success Sharing of having persons randomly volunteer and tossing them the Koosh Ball, have each person give one thing they are grateful for in their lives.
Encourage them to do this daily to help them go forth with an “Attitude of Gratitude”
Debrief > Why is this an important leadership skill?
Photo by Brian Jones
Why is Attitude of Gratitude an important leadership skill?
Debrief > Why is this an important leadership skill?
Photo by eviloars
Reflective Listening
25 minutes
Set-up> This activity is connected to the “Communication: Maintaining the Balance” activity:
● As discussed in the Maintaining the Balance Activity, improving communication with
anyone, means we have to pay attention to their feelings and their point of view.
● Reflective listening is one of the best ways to let someone know that you are striving to
understand how they feel or see their point of view.
● One of the biggest challenges in this skill is that a person has to put aside his or her own
feelings temporarily in order to zero in on what the other person is feeling.
● This takes great personal strength, especially if you feel attached or emotionally
involved in the situation.
● In this activity, we will see some situations that are challenging to stay in the reflective
listening mode.
Process> The Barriers to Listening Handout has some common examples of when it is challenging
to use reflective listening.
Distribute the Barriers to Listening Handout, see below.
● Go around the group and have a pair of students read the first role play. Ask what their reactions would be to responses in the role play. Continue through the examples using different pairs of participants.
● After each example, have the students think of ways they might improve the response.
The handout has an example but push the students to think of more examples of how to say this or at a minimum practice saying the statement so it is the most believable and works for their pair.
● Note: That it is very difficult to role-play these in a genuine way without sounding
canned. Acknowledge this as the reason you do not have the pairs read the “correct”
response.
● Short on time? Ask for 2 volunteers to come forward. Each will do a scenario with you as an “improve.” Ask them if they would rather be a listener or a speaker. If they are the listener, have them use the “correct” response as an idea of how they might respond.
● As discussed in the Maintaining the Balance Activity, improving communication with
anyone, means we have to pay attention to their feelings and their point of view.
● Reflective listening is one of the best ways to let someone know that you are striving to
understand how they feel or see their point of view.
● One of the biggest challenges in this skill is that a person has to put aside his or her own
feelings temporarily in order to zero in on what the other person is feeling.
● This takes great personal strength, especially if you feel attached or emotionally
involved in the situation.
● In this activity, we will see some situations that are challenging to stay in the reflective
listening mode.
Process> The Barriers to Listening Handout has some common examples of when it is challenging
to use reflective listening.
Distribute the Barriers to Listening Handout, see below.
● Go around the group and have a pair of students read the first role play. Ask what their reactions would be to responses in the role play. Continue through the examples using different pairs of participants.
● After each example, have the students think of ways they might improve the response.
The handout has an example but push the students to think of more examples of how to say this or at a minimum practice saying the statement so it is the most believable and works for their pair.
● Note: That it is very difficult to role-play these in a genuine way without sounding
canned. Acknowledge this as the reason you do not have the pairs read the “correct”
response.
● Short on time? Ask for 2 volunteers to come forward. Each will do a scenario with you as an “improve.” Ask them if they would rather be a listener or a speaker. If they are the listener, have them use the “correct” response as an idea of how they might respond.
Photo by Beverly & Pack
5 Step Discussion Process
With Several Barrier Examples
What are some feeling words that describe how the teen feels when they make the first
statement?
● After the person responded to them, what additional feelings would they feel?
● What was the message to the speaker about whether or not he can trust his or her feelings?
(He is somehow wrong or bad to have those feelings?) If a person consistently gets a subtle
message that he cannot trust his feelings and must depend on someone else to tell him how
he feels, how would it eventually affect his ability to “pull his own strings?”
● What might a person say that would send a message that she could trust her feelings and that
her feeling were valid?
● If there is a time, have the pairs think of a realistic scenario where someone might express their
feelings and a good response. Have a couple of volunteers role play these for the entire group.
It would be very powerful if you could use an example of a time a reflective response would be
needed with a community leader in working on a civic project.
● After you have finished working through the different challenging situations go over
the Steps to Reflective Listening handout.
statement?
● After the person responded to them, what additional feelings would they feel?
● What was the message to the speaker about whether or not he can trust his or her feelings?
(He is somehow wrong or bad to have those feelings?) If a person consistently gets a subtle
message that he cannot trust his feelings and must depend on someone else to tell him how
he feels, how would it eventually affect his ability to “pull his own strings?”
● What might a person say that would send a message that she could trust her feelings and that
her feeling were valid?
● If there is a time, have the pairs think of a realistic scenario where someone might express their
feelings and a good response. Have a couple of volunteers role play these for the entire group.
It would be very powerful if you could use an example of a time a reflective response would be
needed with a community leader in working on a civic project.
● After you have finished working through the different challenging situations go over
the Steps to Reflective Listening handout.
Photo by Brett Jordan
5 Step Discussion Process
- What are some feeling words that describe how the teen feels when they make the first statement?
- After the person responded to them, what additional feelings would they feel?
- What was the message to the speaker about whether or not he can trust his/her feelings?
What are some feeling words that describe how the teen feels when they make the first
statement?
● After the person responded to them, what additional feelings would they feel?
● What was the message to the speaker about whether or not he can trust his or her feelings?
(He is somehow wrong or bad to have those feelings?) If a person consistently gets a subtle
message that he cannot trust his feelings and must depend on someone else to tell him how
he feels, how would it eventually affect his ability to “pull his own strings?”
● What might a person say that would send a message that she could trust her feelings and that
her feeling were valid?
● If there is a time, have the pairs think of a realistic scenario where someone might express their
feelings and a good response. Have a couple of volunteers role play these for the entire group.
It would be very powerful if you could use an example of a time a reflective response would be
needed with a community leader in working on a civic project.
● After you have finished working through the different challenging situations go over
the Steps to Reflective Listening handout.
statement?
● After the person responded to them, what additional feelings would they feel?
● What was the message to the speaker about whether or not he can trust his or her feelings?
(He is somehow wrong or bad to have those feelings?) If a person consistently gets a subtle
message that he cannot trust his feelings and must depend on someone else to tell him how
he feels, how would it eventually affect his ability to “pull his own strings?”
● What might a person say that would send a message that she could trust her feelings and that
her feeling were valid?
● If there is a time, have the pairs think of a realistic scenario where someone might express their
feelings and a good response. Have a couple of volunteers role play these for the entire group.
It would be very powerful if you could use an example of a time a reflective response would be
needed with a community leader in working on a civic project.
● After you have finished working through the different challenging situations go over
the Steps to Reflective Listening handout.
Photo by Brett Jordan
Debrief: Reflective Listening
- What did you notice happening in this activity? What feelings did you notice?
- When do you think it might be important to know how to use this skill?
- How might you ned to use this skill in your civic project? Your personal life?
● What did you notice happening in this activity? What feelings did you notice?
● When do you think it might be important to know how to use this skill?
● How might you need to use this skill in your civic project?
● Your personal life?
● When do you think it might be important to know how to use this skill?
● How might you need to use this skill in your civic project?
● Your personal life?
Photo by Domiriel
Assertive Behavior
- Many people have difficulty saying what they feel or standing up for themselves. Mention some situations where this can occur.
- Why standing up for yourself can be so challenging?
Set-Up >
Understanding the different types of communication can also help improve communications.
Give an overview of how and why balancing the three styles of communication is challenging.
Introduce and briefly discuss the three styles of communication.
● Many people have difficulty saying what they feel or standing up for themselves.
What are some situations where this can occur?
-Some responses may include: 1). Saying “No” to unreasonable or uncomfortable
requests, 2). Making a request, and 3). Expressing feelings.
● What are some reasons why standing up for yourself can be so challenging?
- Possible answers include: not know how and looking foolish, losing favor with friends,
or getting into an argument.
● On the other hand, standing up for yourself and not “stepping” on others is also
challenging.
● There are three common styles of communication people use in difficult situations –
aggressive, passive, and assertive. This handout explains each one and lets us practice
identifying them.
● Have three volunteers each read on style of communication out loud to the group.
Understanding the different types of communication can also help improve communications.
Give an overview of how and why balancing the three styles of communication is challenging.
Introduce and briefly discuss the three styles of communication.
● Many people have difficulty saying what they feel or standing up for themselves.
What are some situations where this can occur?
-Some responses may include: 1). Saying “No” to unreasonable or uncomfortable
requests, 2). Making a request, and 3). Expressing feelings.
● What are some reasons why standing up for yourself can be so challenging?
- Possible answers include: not know how and looking foolish, losing favor with friends,
or getting into an argument.
● On the other hand, standing up for yourself and not “stepping” on others is also
challenging.
● There are three common styles of communication people use in difficult situations –
aggressive, passive, and assertive. This handout explains each one and lets us practice
identifying them.
● Have three volunteers each read on style of communication out loud to the group.
Photo by NASA Goddard Photo and Video
3 Common Styles Of Communication Used In Difficult Scenarios
Photo by dominiccampbell
Aggressive, Passive & Assertive
Photo by shoehorn99
Aggressive Communication
- People see themselves more important than others. Superiority.
- Concerned with their own feelings and needs. Struggling with imagining others' feelings and needs.
- "So?" "Whatever! Who cares? Wimp! I don't want to hear it!"
Photo by Andre Hunter
Passive Communication
- People feel less than equal to others.
- "How can I keep this person from getting mad at me?" / "How can I get this person to like me more?"
- Feeling successful after not making people angry, but then will feel frustrated and feel they have been used.
Photo by porschelinn
Assertive Communication
- Placing yourself equal to another person.
- Inequality means feeling the other person is better or less than you.
- Equality is the ability to listen closely to the other person, imagining other's feelings & what you want to do or not to.
Photo by Leo Reynolds
Putting Together Good Assertive Communication
- Use "I or We Messages" to describe the impact of a situation.
- Match body language to what you're saying.
- Connect with your listener (eye contact is one way in many cultures)
- Decide what you want; then speak firmly and clearly without hesitancy.
Photo by adrianifero
Putting Together Good Assertive Communication
- Practice makes perfect - role play because you might think you are assertive when you actually aren't.
- Remember, using assertive communication does not guarantee that others will comply. It only assures personal satisfaction that you have expressed yourself the best you can.
Photo by Harry Quan
Debrief: Communication Styles
- What did you hear and see during this activity?
- What were some of the feelings that you noticed during the activity?
- How might this knowledge be useful?
Photo by Oberazzi
Practice Interviews
30 minutes.
Set Up > Each youth will partner with one of the guests and interview them. If there is a guest that is a good fit for one of the youths, be sure they get partnered with them.
Process> The Youth will interview a guest. They can either use their own questions or they can use the questions everyone came up with in Session 4.
Process> The Youth will interview a guest. They can either use their own questions or they can use the questions everyone came up with in Session 4.
Photo by Steven Weeks
Debrief: Practice Interviews
- Was this easy?
- What did you like or dislike about doing the interviews?
- Why is this an important leadership skill?
Photo by Daniel Schludi
O N E W O R D
Photo by Praveen Thotagamuwa
