Splat! The crowd roared as a tomato hit the Prime Minister smack between the eyes. The cheering crowd drowned out the crack of the rifle shot, as the bullet hit exactly the same spot.
"Sarge, got a really weird one here. Some bloke wandering around lost, muttering something about this being the wrong century. Wants to know where he can charge his screwdriver! And Sarge, there's this old police box.
Dear Tooth Fairy, These teeth aren't all mine. Three of them belong to my baby brother, Jimmy. He cried a bit when I pulled them out but he's much better now. Love Miranda
Wolf. Got a little job for you. There's three pigs building houses in the village, right cowboys, lowering the property values. They need stopping. Don't care how you do it - just be discreet.
The voice from the heavens was not our usual God. "Creatures of Earth, your God has been found guilty of financial irregularities, all his projects have been suspended." Then the lights went out.
Jimmy clambered out of the muddy stream. He felt different. The look of fear in the eyes of his waiting friends excited him. He just knew they were going to taste so good.
The ad simply said, 'For Sale:Baby shoes, never worn.' For each enquiry he tearfully refused to take any money, but they insisted. Only ten more pairs to shift before he moved on.
"What have we got nurse?" "Male, 35, lost a lot of colour." "OK, set up a drip. We'll start with 500ml of indigo and purple. Let's hope we're not too late."
"OK! It was me. I ate the porridge. I broke the bloody chair. I slept in the bed but I was nowhere near the barracks. You can't pin the Dumpty murder on me.
Jenny's diary lay on the table, begging to be opened. One quick look, she'd never know. Once inside, the words attacked me mercilessly. I closed the book but couldn't stop the assault.