Three Levels Of Conversation

Level 1: Informational/Transactional

Level 1: Informational

• We talk past each other.
• Overused

Level 1: Informational

• Tell/Sell/Yell Method.
• Confirms what you know.

Level 2: Positional

Level 2: Positional

• Persuade others
• Defend what you believe

Level 2: Positional

• Addicted to being right
• Bang heads with others
• Overused with stating our positions and not moving to Level 3

Level 3: Transformational

Level 3: Transformational

• Co-create together
• Where real learning and change occurs

Level 3: Transformational

• Discovering what you don't know
• Seek understanding and partnership

Level 3 Transformational is where real attitude, behavior and skill change occurs.

Tips for Strategic Conversations

Tips for Strategic Conversations

• Listen to connect, not reject!

Listen non-judgmentally

Listening to connect is felt as ‘positive’ and stimulates more oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone.

Tips for Strategic Conversations

• Listen to connect, not reject!
• Ask questions for which you have no answers.

Too often we ask leading questions, where we want them to go.

Causes defensiveness, feeling of manipulation, putting others on guard.

When we ask questions with no real answers, moves audience into discovery, curiosity, inquisitiveness.

This leads participants into co-creation & receptive state of mind.

Tips for Strategic Conversations

• Listen to connect, not reject!
• Ask questions for which you have no answers.
• Prime for trust.

Prime For Trust

Make time for others to get to know each other as people first. Gives them the opportunity to feel each other out.

The conversation is radically different when you allow for relationship building first.