Social development is a very important area in a child’s upbringing. As children become socialized in their home, school, and community it is significant for parents to encourage their self-esteem and independence. Children at the age of 2-5 want to explore their environment as they are becoming walking and talking individuals. As parents it is crucial to allow the child to explore freely and feel a sense of achievement when working with certain objects within reasonable boundaries and under supervision. They must develop self-sufficiency skills as well as initiative. If children are not given the opportunity to establish a character, make decisions for themselves, and are consistently being reprimanded from situations that they are capable of handling it will lead the child to feel self-doubt and shame and can carry these characteristics into their adulthood. Parents can gain useful tips on how to promote their child’s self-esteem, self-sufficiency skills and initiative by allowing them to flourish and progress in a developmentally appropriate rate.

Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt (Stage 2) : In order for a child to develop physical and cognitive ability, the child must behave autonomously. Such as feeding themselves without help, walking without help, making personal choices independently. If the child is allowed to act independently, then he or she will have developed autonomy. Some shame is healthy occasionally to prevent misbehavior . However if the child is deprived of that self-independence development then he or she may later feel shame and doubt when acting autonomously.
Initiative vs. Guilt (Stage 3): This theory suggests that letting children have control of imagination and communication will lead to a sense of initiation of activities they are involved in. To ask questions, create their own games whether it’s on paper, with toys or with other children around them the outcome of this stage will be the sense that initiative is a good thing. Children should not be deprived of self-exploration nor forbidden to think outside of the box because later on they may carry a sense of guilt and doubt throughout life. However some guilt is acceptable to prevent misbehavior.

Most importantly, spend time with the child. Demonstrate your love to them.Ask them questions pertaining to their likes/dislikes; allow them to ask you questions. Take time out for them to tell you about their day. Be open and honest with the child so they can have a positive and susceptible connection with you. Play games and interact in activities with them. Let them choose a suitable game for the both of you. Provide opportunities for children to help to get them involved in the daily home life for a sense of control. Teach them about problem solving and decision making. Once this relationship is established in a healthy and positive way, they will feel comfortable and open. Be a good example for the child and a positive role model as well.

Give the child opportunities to make choices within obvious and reasonable limitations. For example, put a few weather appropriate outfits together and allow the child to choose the outfit that they like best and that they want to wear for that day. Allow them to get things off of a shelf that is child height, let them feed themselves, etc. This gives the child a feeling of responsibility and independence.

Also, give them the opportunity to explore their imagination and engage in pretend play. Ask them if they would like to be reminded 5-10 minutes before bed time. These types of age appropriate activities help a child not only gain in self-worth and self-efficacy skills but it also encourages their cognitive, social, emotional and physical development.

It is important to set realistic expectations of the child according to their age and abilities. It would be detrimental to their self-esteem if they are always being held to capabilities of a 10 year old and they in fact, are only 3 years old and cannot realistically meet those expectations. In a sense, they will always “fail” and be shamed, giving the child the idea that they are worthless and stupid and cannot succeed at anything. Eventually they will no longer put in the effort because their confidence will be shattered.

As you set realistic expectations of the child, make sure to praise the child for their efforts and their achievements. As the child receives recognition for the tasks that they have attempted and/or accomplished, they stray away from self-doubt.

Children should be taught about what is right and wrong. However, there is a difference between correcting the child’s behavior and ridiculing the child for displaying an appropriate act of behavior that they were not aware was wrong prior to the behavior. Give reasons of why behavior is inappropriate rather than assuming they should know why.

Children are not good at everything.However, every child is good at something. Once you find the child’s strengths and/or what they have a strong passion for, highlight the strengths. If the child is an excellent artist, display their art around the home. Never compare siblings’ strengths and/or weaknesses. If the child is in sports or other competitive activities make sure that you communicate with the child that they they cannot win every time and that it is okay to lose and to figure out ways to do better next time. Remember to praise efforts. Remind them that they should always be a gracious winner and a gracious loser.

If a child loves to art, frame their work and display it in the home.

If child loves animals, give the child opportunities to care for an animal like a dog or cat at home, feeding them, bathing them, etc.

If the child loves music, make an instrument available to them to encourage their musical talents.

Art is a great way for a child to explore his or her imagination, whether it’s a game, drawing, painting, sculpting art promotes individuality, thus making children take initiative and develop a sense of independence.
Encouraging individuality to your child, let them pick their clothes, let them listen to the music they want (appropriate for age) let them explore and ask questions
To prevent misbehavior set a routine with rules and responsibilities should be applied on what you as a parent expects from them, if the rule is broke, then a natural consequence is expected already.
Let your child ask questions, don’t punish them if they ask something they shouldn't know. Guide them.

Reads
Playful Learning: Develop Your Child’s Sense of Joy and Wonder by Mariah Bruehl
Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five by John Medina
Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross

Films
Raising Children: A Guide to Parenting from Birth to Five (2007)