Oh Sh!t Day! The Day You Became a Single Mom
Published on Nov 18, 2015
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Oh Sh!t Day! The Day You Became a Single Mom
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I remember my Oh Sh!t Day like it was yesterday.
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The end of my marriage felt like the end of everything, and after awhile, the possibility of a new beginning.
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I had been married for 7 years and had a 2-year-old. I lived in Hawaii, with my then-husband, who was a military officer.
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I was far away from home, no family go "home" to, and I was self-employed. Good and not-so-good, all at the same time.
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I've said since I first wrote The Successful Single Mom book that:
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"Today is somebody's Oh Shit! day ... the day they became a single mom and realized exactly what that truly means."
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During the first few months after my divorce, I experienced all kinds of emotions:
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panic, because I was surprised by the request for a divorce;
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excitement, because I'm a positive thinker and always look forward to the future;
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anger, because, well, wouldn't YOU be angry if someone asked you for a divorce on Mother's Day?
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Fear, because I wasn't sure I could handle being a single mom and everything that comes with being one,
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and finally relief, because I knew that the relationship wasn't right for me, but I didn't have the courage to make the change myself.
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Of the many single moms I've spoken to, they've all said they experienced many of the same emotions. It's not uncommon to feel them all on the same day.
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You might have just experienced your Oh Sh!t Day, and if you have, here are some things you need to know:
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1. You're going to experience uncomfortable emotions, and you just might feel like you're on a roller coaster that is no fun at all.
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It will get better, and it will take time. Give yourself all the time you need.
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2. It's okay to feel how you're feeling. It's not okay to harm yourself, your kids or your ex.
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4. You may want to talk to someone who can really help you, like a therapist or a divorce coach.
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Your kids might find great benefit in a therapist, too.
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5. The light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.
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I rarely meet anyone {okay, I've never met anyone ever} who says, "I wish I'd stayed married."
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They always {always!} say, "It was completely worth it, as much as it sucked. I just wish I'd done it sooner."
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The old adage is true,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
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You will find yourself, in a year or two, looking and feeling better than you have in years {maybe ever!}.
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When you're ready, pick up a copy of my book, The Successful Single Mom.
I wrote it because as a single mom who was also an executive coach, I had the benefit of having tools in my toolbox that I could use to help me get through the most challenges times after divorce and go on to more success and happiness than I could have ever imagined at the time.
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