"Believing that we're "enough" is the way out of the armor-it gives us permission to take off the mask. With that sense of "enough" comes an embrace of worthiness, boundaries, and engagement."
p. 116

"Softening into the joyful moments of our lives requires vulnerability."
p. 121

"Joyfulness and gratitude are spiritual practices that are bound to a belief in human connectedness and a power greater than us... Joy is a spiritual way of engaging with the world that's connected to practicing gratitude."
p. 123

"Every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and we cultivate hope. The joy becomes pat of who we are, and when bad things happen-and they do happen -we are stronger."
p. 126

"The most valuable and important things in life came to me when I cultivated the courage to be vulnerable, imperfect and self-compassionate. Perfectionism is not the path that
leads to our gifts and to our sense of purpose; it's the hazardous detour."
p. 128

"Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval... Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?"
p. 129

"Perfectionism is more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy we spend trying."
p. 130

"If we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from "What will people think?" to "I am enough!" That journey begins with shame resilience, self-compassion, and owning our stories."
p. 131

"Mindfulness requires that we not over-identify with or exaggerate our feelings."
p. 132

THREE STEPS TO SELF-COMPASSION

• Practice self-kindness
• Practice mindfulness
• Acknowledge our common humanity by recognizing that all people experience suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy

"Worthiness comes when we live inside our story."
p. 132

"Perfection is the enemy of done."
~Andrea Scher

"Perfectionism crushes creativity -
which is why one of the most effective ways to start recovering from perfectionism is to start creating."
p. 135

"There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
~Leonard Cohen, 'Anthem'

"Numbing vulnerability also dulls our experiences of love, joy, belonging, creativity, and empathy. We can't selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light."
p. 137

"The most powerful need for numbing seems to come from...shame, anxiety, and disconnection."
p. 138

"Shame enters for those of us who experience anxiety because not only are we feeling fearful, out of control, and incapable of managing our increasingly demanding lives, but eventually our anxiety is compounded and made unbearable by our belief that if we were just smarter, stronger, or better, we'd be able to handle everything. Numbing ... becomes a way to take the edge off of both instability and inadequacy."
p. 139

"Wholehearted men and women reduce anxiety by ... paying attention to how much they could do and how much was too much, and learning how to say, "Enough.""
p. 142

"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement."
p. 145

"Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us... True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."
p. 145-146

"Living a connected life ultimately is about setting boundaries, spending less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don't matter, and seeing the value of working on cultivating connection with family and close friends."
p. 146

"When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them."
~ Martin Buber

"Owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits."
p. 151

"Connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them-people with whom we've cultivated relationships that can bear the weight of our story."
p. 160

"Much of the beauty of light owes its existence to the dark. The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles."
p. 160

"When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It's a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism."
p. 169

Untitled Slide

"I can mix primary colors to make secondary colors"

"I can make a 3D form out of clay!"

"I can perform the ancient practice of Tai Chi."

"I can perform the ancient practice of Tai Chi."

CLANG, BANG, ROAR

At Wheelock School,
we love educating the WHOLE
child