ACT II
Reaching Out:
the ability to build relationships with others through empathy, listening and authentic connection

“Formal authority – giving someone a paycheck – will get simple obedience. Only leadership – reaching out and connecting with people on their terms – can capture hearts and minds.”

It is up to YOU

LEADERS ESPECIALLY NEED TO REACH OUT

Human Connections don’t get made unless leaders do it

Think of a relationship with a employee, colleague or supervisor that is working well. What is working about that relationship? Why?

Think of a relationship with an employee, colleague or manager that is challenging. What is challenging? Why?

RULES FOR BUILDING EMPATHETIC RELATIONSHIPS

LISTEN
ACKNOWLEDGE
SHARE

Reaching out rule#1
Listen to build relationships

LISTENING: Actors must find the heart of the character

Untitled Slide

Actors and Empathy

Actors must know how characters walk and talk and think and feel


“Magic It” Actors ask themselves, If I had the same background as the character, and now found myself in the same situation, how would I feel?



Getting inside the skin of the character

• Empathy helps an actor to understand what a character feels and why that character acts as he or she does
• Actors must listen to literal words spoken as well as and especially for the meaning characters invest in those words

Those who empathize:

• Recognize and meet needs
• Seem approachable
• Want to hear what people have to say
• They listen carefully
• Pick up what people are truly concerned about
• They respond

Get the Best From the People You Lead

• To See “Feelingly”
• Must see the world through the eyes of anyone but yourself

When the stakes are higher and there is war for good talent,

dissonance leaders

are one of the main reasons that people leaveand take all of the company knowledge with them

high performing teams.  high level of empathy

Reaching out rule #2:
Acknowledge People

Empathy is the key to:



Retaining good talent

Developing and keeping good people

Untitled Slide

• Know what makes your people tick
• You can empathize with anyone
• Understanding the specific thoughts and feelings of another

listening for
subtext (look for hidden meaning and emotion in the person's words).


values and strengths, which can be an easy way to connect with someone.

Advanced Empathy

listen—paraphrase, clarify for understanding-refrain from interrupting and offering suggestions

Identify with what the speaker is going through
notice how you are feeling—in your body and in emotion

turn off the “problem-solving” part of the brain when someone comes to you for help, and really listen to what they are saying beneath the words themselves.

offer positive insights based on what you heard the person say.

Collecting Empathy Materials

Using Empathy where it feels impossible—focusing on feelings and needs and what can you offer.

“In the end, though, empathy doesn’t involve finding what you like in someone else. It involves finding the humanity in someone else, even in their weakness, and connecting that humanity with your own.”

Reaching out rule #: Sharing yourself

• Without connection, people have little sense of loyalty

“PEOPLE LEAVE MANAGERS, NOT COMPANIES. IF YOU HAVE A TURN OVER PROBLEM, YOU NEED TO FIRST LOOK TO YOUR MANAGERS”

Openness is critical for coaching” (119).




It is integral to be vulnerable if you are to be a successful coach.
Reveal the chinks in your armor, so to speak, and let others see who you really are; they will be more likely to follow you if you do.

Empathy felt and expressed

Communicating empathy in a clear and public way

What do you do to communicate and act on empathy

Shining a spotlight on others

Big dramatic ways and small, day to day ways too

The necessity and power of simple actions—consequences of not doing them

Truth to the Teller

Being true to yourself also involves showing and sharing emotion.

Truth to the Audience

“Encourage your people to join your journey, your quest, and reach the goal that lies at its end.
“Make the ‘I’ in your story become ‘we,’ so the whole tribe or community can come together and unite behind your experience and the idea it embodies.”

true to the moment, appropriately matching the context

The context of the telling is always a part of the story

Actually, intensive preparation and improvising are two sides of the same coin.

Truth to the Mission

A great storyteller is devoted to a cause beyond self.

A mission is embodied in stories, capturing and expressing values and beliefs for others to adopt as their own.
story offers a value proposition worthy of its audience.

LEADERSHIP PLAYS A CRUCIAL ROLE IN RETAINING EMPLOYEES

Think of a relationship with an employee, colleague or manager that is challenging. What is challenging? Why?

Think of a relationship with a employee, colleague or supervisor that is working well. What is working about that relationship? Why?

Reaching out • The ability to build relationship with others through empathy, listening and authentic connection

Next steps...
Act 3
Expressiveness