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THINGS TO DO IN HELL

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MARTIN & PRESENTED BY ALEXIS ZBINDEN

Grab lunch
Polish your silver
Try a new flavor of yogurt
Burn in a lake of fire
Smoke some weed
Overeat

Photo by Hermes Rivera

Finally understand some things
Talk to Steve
Cry out breathlessly
Pay the electric bill
Go to the aquarium in the mall
Worry over the shape and color of your moles

Photo by latteda

Sell out the people you used to call friends
Learn how to bake bread
Feed the ducks at the lake by the highway
Exaggerate your earnings
Get elected
Mull things over

Photo by Gary Bendig

Attend a livestock auction Pull down the statues of people who tortured your ancestors
Seek employment
Knit
Regret mostly everything Paint the windows shut

Photo by Tara Evans

Pull down the statues of your ancestors
Get down on your knees
Read Kierkegaard
Pick the kids up from Montessori
Lose your appetite
Linger

Photo by Sins S

Imagine that hell is only an abstraction
DVR Homeland
Take another free breath mint
Cry out endlessly
Blame those closest to you
Love even the barest light pissing through the trees

M.O.W.W.

TOOLS USED

  • Humor
  • Irony

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