MY RESUME

MY JOB HISTORY

ALL THOSE ANNOYING ADS ON YOUR SCREEN...YEAH, THAT'S ME.

DON'T BELIEVE ME? THAT GUY ON THE LEFT RECOGNIZES ME.

AT&T IS STILL CLINGING TO THOSE LANDLINES, SO I SOLD EM.

WHERE I READ MOST OF MY BOOKS

I FED THEM A SOME B.S., AND THEY REWARDED ME WITH ONE OF MY OWN

ENROLLED IN MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE, BUT GOT MASTER OF MANAGEMENT INSTEAD.

OF THE MAD KIND

IF YOU CAN'T TWEET IT, YOU PROBABLY AREN'T READING THIS NOW

THAT'S A NERD QUESTION BRO

I'M THE ANDY WARHOL OF THE CUBICLE WORLD

AND STUFF I GENERALLY ENJOY

KIDS. LIKE THESE. BUT HAPPIER.

SPECIFICALLY THE SHOOTING PART

SO THE WORLD CAN SEE ME