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Slide Notes
I'm Margaret Groves. I'm an engineer, and a woman. At the same time. While this isn't as hard as the media might have you believe, it's not easy, either. I was in the trenches for a decade, and now I'm an independent operator--but I'm still in tech! The rest of these amazing presenters are covering beautiful and important change. Let's talk about what we're up against.
I Was A Woman In Tech—
Published on May 09, 2018
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PRESENTATION OUTLINE
I Was A Woman In Tech—
Before It Was Cool.
I'm Margaret Groves. I'm an engineer, and a woman. At the same time. While this isn't as hard as the media might have you believe, it's not easy, either. I was in the trenches for a decade, and now I'm an independent operator--but I'm still in tech! The rest of these amazing presenters are covering beautiful and important change. Let's talk about what we're up against.
Photo by lharkness
The Pipeline Generation
- "If we get more young women INTO technology majors, the ratio will change!"
- Fifteen years later, still having the same discussion
I was a member of what I'm calling "the Pipeline Generation": I graduated high school in 99, and the belief was: "If we get more young women INTO technology majors, the eventual ratio will change!" It was somehow blithely assumed that post-college support wouldn't be necessary.
I graduated in 2003. It is now 15 years later almost to the day. And here I am, giving this presentation. This problem is not fixed. This problem is so not fixed that Venture Capital firms are springing up to ONLY fund women-led startups. That's millions of dollars. THAT'S how unfixed this problem is.
It's not that technology isn't fulfilling! Technology is AWESOME. Working in technology is ALWAYS the most fulfilling thing I do all day. But...
I graduated in 2003. It is now 15 years later almost to the day. And here I am, giving this presentation. This problem is not fixed. This problem is so not fixed that Venture Capital firms are springing up to ONLY fund women-led startups. That's millions of dollars. THAT'S how unfixed this problem is.
It's not that technology isn't fulfilling! Technology is AWESOME. Working in technology is ALWAYS the most fulfilling thing I do all day. But...
Photo by zeitfaenger.at
No one will stay in a job where teeth-grinding *outweighs*
personal fulfillment. And women are far more subject to teeth-grinding moments.
It's one thing to be told you're not good enough at your job. But it's another thing entirely to be told that it's your attitude that's keeping you single. And yes that really happens.
Photo by Markus Spiske
Teeth Grinding Moments
- High visibility + negative bias = high stakes: when you're good, you're fine; when you're bad, you're terrible--and it's personal
- Personal comments instead of job-oriented feedback
- Explicit bad behavior
Raise your hand if this has happened to you: you're lent to a team, described as the second coming of Marie Curie, and when you don't live up to wildly outsized expectations, the team takes it personally. Right? Me too. The backlash was astonishing. I wasn't even allowed to just be a mediocre team member. There were plenty of other team members that were performing worse--and costing way more per head. But the team was somehow personally offended when *I* didn't live up to expectations.
Because for women it's always personal. Coworkers take failure personally, and coworkers GET personal with women in ways that are totally inappropriate for work: comments on their appearance, on their dress, on their personality. A friend of mine was waiting for a female lead engineer to call in, and the owner of my friend's company said, “Do you know she rides a motorcycle?. She is so large I bet she just swallows it up when she sits on it.” My friend ground her teeth.
Some comments are double winners--people choose to express their disagreement with your job performance by personally attacking you. Sometimes you get lucky and it's JUST explicit bad behavior. I was once told, in front of a crowd at work, that to succeed at Boeing, a woman has to be ugly and smart or beautiful and acquiesient. A friend was told that her interior team kneepads (when you're inspecting the interior of a plane after it's sold but before it's handed over to the customer, you wear protective gear--not for you, but for the PLANE) anyway, she was told that her kneepads would come in handy for her performance review with her boss.
Because for women it's always personal. Coworkers take failure personally, and coworkers GET personal with women in ways that are totally inappropriate for work: comments on their appearance, on their dress, on their personality. A friend of mine was waiting for a female lead engineer to call in, and the owner of my friend's company said, “Do you know she rides a motorcycle?. She is so large I bet she just swallows it up when she sits on it.” My friend ground her teeth.
Some comments are double winners--people choose to express their disagreement with your job performance by personally attacking you. Sometimes you get lucky and it's JUST explicit bad behavior. I was once told, in front of a crowd at work, that to succeed at Boeing, a woman has to be ugly and smart or beautiful and acquiesient. A friend was told that her interior team kneepads (when you're inspecting the interior of a plane after it's sold but before it's handed over to the customer, you wear protective gear--not for you, but for the PLANE) anyway, she was told that her kneepads would come in handy for her performance review with her boss.
Photo by Paxson Woelber
But Wait, There's More!
Photo by Hello I'm Nik
Lack of Network
- I needed a signoff on a business process. I was told: "That will take 6-8 weeks."
- My mentor: "Let me just give Sam a call."
- Multiply this by 12-20 business processes per year...
That's just the bad behavior part; let's talk about work performance. I needed a signoff from another department, and was told that would take 6-8 weeks. My mentor said, "Let me just give Sam a call." What if my mentor HADN'T included me in his network? I would have had to sit around 6-8 weeks--all the while knowing I was doing my job more poorly than my co-workers because I didn't have a network. Multiply that by anywhere from 12-20 business processes a year and not only would my productivity suffer, my morale would nosedive. Of course, I started just ASKING my mentor for connections and I built my own network, piggybacking off his. But I have the personality for that. It is entirely unfair to require young women to be BOTH engineers AND extroverts to succeed in the technology world.
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Daily Pushback From Coworkers
- Me: "Tell me your availability for a tag-up meeting."
- Him: "I don't think we need a tag-up meeting."
- Multiply this by 50 instances a year.
Here's another good one: The answering of a question you didn't ask. Me: "Tell me your availability for a tag-up meeting." Him: "I don't think we need a tag-up meeting." A same-level or below-level coworker is trying to tell me what to do instead of answering my question. This even happened with subcontractors, where I was technically the customer. This should be a one-and-done email. Now it's six emails and I'm wearing out my fingers WHILE I'm grinding my teeth.
Photo by TarikB
Solutions at the Worker Bee Level
- Bad behavior fix: Say calmly: "That is not appropriate. Let's discuss the agenda."
- Proactive: Intentionally involving young women in networks; make it easy for them to do the job.
So just for the sake of argument, let's say you're NOT a venture capitalist with millions to invest, but instead you're a cog in the machine for...say Boeing. Microsoft. As I was. What can YOU do?
Bad behavior fix: "That is NOT APPROPRIATE FOR A BUSINESS ENVIRONMENT." Just a statement. No judgement on the fact that whoever said it is an evolutionary throwback who will hopefully be dead soon. It's understandable if you don't speak up perfectly, because I certainly don't, but every time we speak up, we are putting a nail in the coffin of that bad behavior, and if we get enough Nails, the coffin lid might eventually stay closed.
Second point: We must be intentional: we've waited for the market to correct itself "naturally" and here you are, still listening to me talk about this on a Tuesday night. Find a younger coworker, a woman or a person of color, and intentionally invite that person into your network. Make it easy for them to do their job. I understand that might feel like cheating--she needs to "pay her dues", maybe, the way you did. But we do not have time for that.
Bad behavior fix: "That is NOT APPROPRIATE FOR A BUSINESS ENVIRONMENT." Just a statement. No judgement on the fact that whoever said it is an evolutionary throwback who will hopefully be dead soon. It's understandable if you don't speak up perfectly, because I certainly don't, but every time we speak up, we are putting a nail in the coffin of that bad behavior, and if we get enough Nails, the coffin lid might eventually stay closed.
Second point: We must be intentional: we've waited for the market to correct itself "naturally" and here you are, still listening to me talk about this on a Tuesday night. Find a younger coworker, a woman or a person of color, and intentionally invite that person into your network. Make it easy for them to do their job. I understand that might feel like cheating--she needs to "pay her dues", maybe, the way you did. But we do not have time for that.
Photo by Photographing Travis
Keep Your Head Up
- For women: be open minded about your allies. Don't assume. Prejudice comes in all guises.
- If you're noticing a block where you should be advancing, start taking notes.
- Remember: bad behavior is person-specific, NOT company- or industry-wide.
- A sense of humor comes in handy
That's a good segue into positives! There's a lot of allies, sometimes where you least expect them. Find them and be open minded. Many older male co-workers with a lot of seniority made space for me to share in their glory instead of shutting me out. They didn't march up and down for women's rights but they routinely asked me to lunch, gave me business travel tips and passed on tribal knowledge.
Be careful about who talks a good game, and who actually assists you. If you're noticing a block where you should be advancing, start taking notes. It can be hard to separate emotion from fact--and if you're grinding your teeth every day, you WILL be emotional. Take notes about your career so you can track causation. And remember that bad behavior is person specific--there's allies out there somewhere. Find them.
Be careful about who talks a good game, and who actually assists you. If you're noticing a block where you should be advancing, start taking notes. It can be hard to separate emotion from fact--and if you're grinding your teeth every day, you WILL be emotional. Take notes about your career so you can track causation. And remember that bad behavior is person specific--there's allies out there somewhere. Find them.
Photo by Nigel Tadyanehondo
And Finally
Photo by Jungwoo Hong
You Gotta Know When To Fold 'Em
- Are you becoming a lightning rod for trouble WHILE AT THE SAME TIME finding that all your suggestions are ignored?
- Time to leave.
This slide says it all: when this starts happening, make fast tracks to get out. Know when to walk away...and when to run.
I personally joined the startup community, and now I'm a consultant for other small technology companies--in a field where fresh ideas are gold, my differences are a feature, not a bug. But I spent 8 years at Boeing and did very well, and if I join another big corporation someday, great! I'll know what to do.
I personally joined the startup community, and now I'm a consultant for other small technology companies--in a field where fresh ideas are gold, my differences are a feature, not a bug. But I spent 8 years at Boeing and did very well, and if I join another big corporation someday, great! I'll know what to do.
Photo by Yannis Papanastasopoulos
