Emotional Responsibility
Published on Aug 23, 2020
No Description
MORE DECKS TO EXPLORE
PRESENTATION OUTLINE
“People are not disturbed by events but the view they hold of them” Epictetus
Photo by Leif Hinrichsen
Some people disagree. They will insist that the event is ‘making’ them think, feel & do what they think, feel and do.
“He made me do it!”
“She’s always winding me up!”
“I can help it!”
Really?
Photo by Noah Silliman
We need to realise that it is our beliefs, not the event that stops us from feeling powerful and in control of our lives.
Photo by Luca Upper
Knowing this makes it easier for us to achieve our goals, aspirations and desires despite the obstacles, hurdles, and set-backs we face.
Photo by Luca Upper
So, is it really true that events disturb us (as opposed to the thoughts and beliefs we have about the event)?
If an event really did make us feel what we feel then the only way we would be able to change the way we feel would be to change the event or wish it never happened.
Photo by Johen Redman
If someone else ‘makes’ you feel angry then the only way you will ever be free of that anger would be to get that person to change their attitude or behaviour towards you. But what if that person is no longer here – what do you do then?
Photo by Jason Leung
If it really was the event, the past or other people that cause us to feel what we feel then nobody would be able move forward with their life or change or alter anything. We would all be stuck were we are forever!
Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya
Those with an external way of thinking lack flexibility. Their thinking is rigid, dogmatic and inconsistent with reality.
Let’s say, for example that a person with such thinking experiences rejection – and as a result, they also find themselves feeling hurt. And they will come to the conclusion that the rejection is causing them to feel hurt.
Photo by Shawn Harquail
But is this really true?
In reality, some people, on being rejected, will feel HURT, some will feel ANGRY, some will feel SAD and some will feel RELIEVED (“I never liked that person anyway.”)
People can experience the same event but in different ways.
Photo by Nick Fewings
People who look to external factors to explain the problems they face are disempowering themselves.
They are telling themselves they have no power or control over what they think, feel and do and as such they remain stuck with the problem.
Is this what you see going on around you?
Photo by Hindrik S
So, if the past, events or other people don’t cause you to think, feel and do what you think, feel and do … then what does?
Photo by Toa Heftiba
The simple answer is this …
YOU DO!
Photo by AdrianoSetimo
YOU ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU THINK, FEEL & DO!
Photo by Štefan Štefančík
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” (Albert Ellis)
Photo by Svyatoslav Romanov
“People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking ... which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.” (Albert Ellis).
Photo by Jade Masri
“People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” (Albert Ellis)
Photo by Roberto Nickson
Ellis saw himself as more of a teacher than a psychotherapist – he firmly supported the idea of psycho-education. The client wishing to overcome an anxiety disorder learns to understand what an anxiety disorder is, how it can be created and maintained and, more importantly what the client needs to do to overcome it.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
A psycho-educational approach leads to increased insight, perspective and the knowledge needed to overcome the presenting issue.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz
Taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions is empowering ... it puts us in charge of the life we live!
Photo by Ankush Minda
