Keep your thesis simple, limiting it to one or two big ideas.

You can't say everything, nor do you need to. Focus on ONE answer to the question, not EVERY answer to the question.

The way to build a coherent argument is by building connections.

Your topic sentences should be ANALYTICAL (not descriptive) and clearly develop the argument set out by your thesis.

The end of paragraphs should stylishly look back to that paragraphs topic sentence or the thesis as a whole.

Ideas within your paragraph should be connected and logically sequenced. Ask yourself, questions like, "Which idea BEST follows this one?" or "Where is my argument heading now?" Paragraphs should never be a random collection of things that you know.

You should limit description of plot to providing essential plot or character context for your quotes. Everything else in your essay should be analytical. This means your writing should be:

1) pulling apart ideas
2) uncovering elements that make an idea more complex
3) making connections between
claims
4) providing detailed justification
5) considering the implications of your claim or your justifications

Quotations should be kept short and woven into your sentences. They should not get in the way of the meaning of your sentence, but be an essential part of the analysis.

Quotations should also be placed in context, as necessary. Consider offering the reader a sense of the plot, circumstances or character features that are of importance to the element of the quotation you are analysing.

Be sure your writing is crystal clear. At times, this means using specific terminology at the right time, e.g. exposition, climax, hubris, anagnorisis. At other times, it means using the simplest, clearest term.

Clarity also comes from being focused on all the details of a sentence, including capitalisation and punctuation.

Three tips:
1) If you can use fewer words to say the same thing, do so.
2) If you have to read a sentence twice, it is not clear enough.
3) Keep to a regular diet of short, punchy sentences written in the active voice, characterised by the following word order SUBJECT - VERB - OBJECT, e.g. Shakespeare introduces the audience to issues of gender ambiguity.