Things That Make Your Web Developer Want To Murder You

Published on Nov 18, 2015

Web Designers are perfectly happy not murdering you, until you start doing silly things that make them want to murder you. Here's a guide so you can avoid the seemingly-impossible fate of being strangled to death with a wireless keyboard.

PRESENTATION OUTLINE

MURDER You

How to get your web developer to

As a web developer,
I encounter issues like this
every.
single.
day.

I work hard to train my clients,
but not all web developers
will tell you before
they're about to kill you.


I share their pain. I just drink heavily to forget it.

Technology is HARD.
I've used computers
my whole life.

They still surprise me.
(sometimes)

Photo by marsmet473a

That being said,
there is no excuse
for willful ignorance.


Educate yourself
for fuck's sake.

Photo by .:shk:.

5 Things that waste our time

  • Separate email chains for every issue/idea
  • Immediately asking for revisions
  • Not telling us the full scope of the problem
  • "Can you just..." / "Is it easy to...?"
  • Asking us to consult with your friend/mom/dog

5 more things that waste our time

  • Not knowing your username or password
  • Not clearing your cache before you call
  • Adding "one more thing..." after we've logged out
  • Questioning the solution after we start but before we finish it
  • Describing an issue in vague terms without screenshots or links

How to get us to love you

  • Have your passwords ready
  • Pay your invoice promptly
  • Describe EVERYTHING you want done
  • Provide screenshots wherever possible
  • Link us to the page you're talking about

HOW TO GET US TO LOVE YOU (More)

  • Learn how to copy/paste
  • Learn how to take a screenshot
  • Describe (in writing) exactly what you want
  • In your description, use visual aids
  • If you ask to call us, expect us to record it

Finally

if you really want us to love you...
Photo by Gulfu

Pay your invoice

On time. In full. don't fuck around.
Photo by aresauburn™

Thank you