9 Tips

Soften the "You"

• Change it to "I"
• Instead of "You will have to...."
• Say "I would like you to...."

Focus on the Solution

• Instead of "We are out of milk"
• Say "I will get some milk after work

Turn can't into CAN

• Instead of "we can't do that until next week..."
• Say " We CAN do that next week"

Take Responsibility

• Instead of "Its not my fault..."
• Say "Here's what I can do to fix that..."

Focus on the Future

• Instead of "I've told you before not to..."
• Say "From now on...'

Accept other opinions

• Instead of "No, you are wrong..."
• Say "I see it like this..."

Say what you want

• Instead of "I don't want to see you doing..."
• Say "I want you to sit in the chair..."

Use "I" Statements

• Instead of "You make me mad..."
• Say "I feel angry when you _____. I'd like you to not ________."

Use reflective & attentive skills

• I hear you saying..., you said...
• Make eye contact, mmmhmmmm, nodding head