Unless you been on a desert island or living in a remote part of the planet, you will no doubt be aware of the current media around men and their behaviour.

No matter where you stand you ave to admit that it's not a great picture that is emerging. In fact it is pretty abysmal.

But it is not the whole picture.

Hi, my name is Gunter Swoboda. I'm a psychologist in Sydney Australia and the founder of a program called:

Making Good Men Great. A program that wants men to be an active part in creating a healthier masculinity.

Today's society confronts men with a number of challenges that severely encroach on our well-being,

MEN ARE IN CRISIS because:

There has been a significant change in roles and expectations of men.

There have been significant changes in life expectancy and the impact that has on later life.

There is a lack of awareness and understanding of the health issues men face.

Men do not openly discussing their health and how they’re feeling.

Men are reluctant to take action when they don’t feel physical or mentally well.

Men engage in risky activities that threaten their health.  

Amongst men there is a significant stigma surrounding mental health.

For every woman who commits suicide, three men die, according to the statistics.

But most importantly men have not participated in a structured and reasoned conversation with women about the changes that have occurred and still need to occur to eradicate the legacy of a toxic masculinity.

The legacy is manifest in many ways:

20.4% of all Australian males aged 16 years and over are expected to experience an anxiety condition in their lifetime (1 in 5 Australian men cc. 1 in 3 Australian women)

12.2% of all Australian males aged 16 years and over are expected to experience a mood disorder in their lifetime (1 in 8 Australian men and 1 in 6 Australian women)

35.4% of all Australian males aged 16 years and over are expected to experience a substance use disorder in their lifetime (1 in 3 Australian men cc. 1 in 7 Australian females).

As a psychologist I have spent many hours working with couples. In large number of instances the conflicts that couples are dealing with come down to issues of

Emotional Intimacy

Respect for each other as human beings

and Co-operation on issues such as communication, domestic workload distribution and parenting.

Many of these issues are about how men, and women, perceive gender roles.

A study of almost 4500 year 7 to 12 students revealed that 30 per cent of boys felt constantly under strain and unable to overcome difficulties.

(This includes girls) More than half had low levels of resilience and of those, 43 per cent felt violence was an appropriate way to solve relationship issues.

A third were drinking at dangerous levels, and one in four lacked the confidence to say no to unwanted sexual experiences, while 16 per cent feel it necessary to carry a weapon.

One in 10 of the students from schools surveyed in Victoria, Queensland, SA and NSW, had gambled in the past year.

Psychologists and educators say many young people lack the basic skills of impulse control, conflict resolution and relationship-building to help them cope with life's challenges.
The first Young and Well National Survey, a scientific study of young men from across Australia, identified alarming statistics that suggest our current mental health system is failing young men, including:

nearly one in five young men in the past 12 months have felt that life is hardly worth living,

nearly one in 10 young men having thought about taking their own life,

unemployment and moderate to very high levels of psychological distress predicting suicidal thoughts and behaviour,

42 percent of young men experiencing psychological distress.

Roughly 18% of boys have significant body image issues which frequently translates in to hyper masculinity , wherein the stereotypical aspects of traditional masculinity become amplified.

This leads them to be more susceptible to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, self-harm and violence.

Traditional masculinity and hyper-masculinity do not offer boys and men a foundation to explore emotional intimacy. Women new not seen as a person but become a means to their own sexual gratification. They are objects of desire that are there to emphasis the males social status and power.

One of the key issues that men are facing is the sense of isolation and alienation. Traditionally we saw this in men who have reached the age of 55 and on.

However, in recent years this isolation has become a feature of many teenage boys who struggle with the social expectations of what it means to be a male.

Older men face the challenge and struggle of losing a spouse, their role or their career, which frequently leads men into a void that they find difficult to escape.

It becomes o a self-imposed prison.

Finally, one of the greatest problems in todays world is that of violence.

For example, men perpetrate about 90 percent of the world's homicides.

So how did we get here?

The short answer is that men established a social ideology called PATRIARCHY. It is a ideology founded on

Territory, Hierarchy (Status), Acquisition, and Competition. All organisations, institutions and governing philosophies in business and religion are infused but this single ideology. It led to material and political power for some and misery for many. Once it was the source of men's power, now it is the source of the masculine crisis.

As human beings, we are now in a position to actively influence and determine our evolutionary pathways. We have the hardware; the technology and the software; the knowledge and insights which of the multitude of paths we follow. But this knowledge comes with a price if we do not think these issues through sufficiently.

History is filled with examples of what appeared to be a good idea at the time, costs us dearly later. At some point the price is terminal.

As the accumulation of knowledge is exponential, so is the speed with which change occurs. This means that the probability of what can threaten our individual and collective well-being also increases in speed and magnitude.

Immersed in a sea of technological change and cloning on to the patriarchal imperative, we are rapidly losing sight of what makes us human.

At the core of this issue is that we, as MEN, are rapidly moving into a decline physically, psychologically, socially and spiritually.

We are even producing on average less sperm than 100 years ago, and to top it off, they are not as healthy.

The traditional Masculine Paradigm, or patriarchy, no longer works. From a psychological development point of view it keeps us stuck ... in adolescence.

There are many ways to be territorial. Politically, geographically, with intellectual property.

However, the most damaging is being emotionally territorial.

What do I mean by that? I mean that men don't share our feelings well, if at all. We keep our feelings to ourselves. After all, feelings are a weakness.

Like being territorial, being culturally hierarchical is a way to exclude rather than to include. It is based on an 'either/ or' way of thinking.

This limits the exchange of emotion, information, knowledge and wisdom that could be collectively useful.

Another word for being acquisitional is greed.

It disadvantages us through a mentality that disallows for a more mature psychological development.


It is interesting however that studies with small children at the Max Planck Institute have shown that small children are inherently sharers.

Human infants as young as 14 to 18 months of age help others attain their goals, for
example, by helping them to fetch out-of-reach objects or opening cabinets for them.
They do this irrespective of any reward from adults (indeed external rewards
undermine the tendency), and very likely with no concern for such things as
reciprocation and reputation, which serve to maintain altruism in older children and
adults.

Humans’ nearest primate relatives, chimpanzees, also help others instrumentally
without concrete rewards. These results suggest that human infants are naturally
altruistic, and as ontogeny proceeds and they must deal more independently with a
wider range of social contexts, socialization and feedback from social interactions with
others become important mediators of these initial altruistic tendencies.

The conclusion then is that GREED os learnt.

Being competitive together with being territorial and hierarchical promotes a view of the world that is not optimal. It supports a 'win/lose' mentality that frequently leads to ethical problems. A look at politics, business and sport are just a few endeavours where we can clearly see the consequences of this.

Yet without a doubt, human beings greatest achievements have come about from cooperation.

I look at the Masculine Crisis as a developmental issue. By that I mean that the traditional masculine stereotype rests in an immature psychological development phase, i.e that of adolescents.

The next step means that men need to mature, to move from being adolescent to being an adult.

I know, sounds harsh, but let's face it - it could be worst.

The New Masculine Paradigm is about being aligned to my purpose, its meanings and my intentions.

Furthermore alignment to sound core values will ensure that my actions with respect to my physical life, my psychological well-being and my social interactions are harmonious.

Being Inclusive requires a process of consultation with others wherein I am able to suspend judgements.

This requires emotional courage and the ability to allow feeling vulnerable.

'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

Popularised by Spock (Star Trek) this is essentially a position proposed by J.S. Mill, an English philosopher and economist (yes, Economist).

As an adult there are and will be times when I will be both responsible and accountable to the whole rather than simply my self.

I would like to think that being distributive would be a self-evident truth in the mature adult psyche.

It is crucial to our evolution as aligned men to understand the implications of what this means both individually but also collectively.

Furthermore it is essential to consider this beyond the material and place it squarely into the realms of thoughts, feelings and actions.

It is therefore a major philosophical, psychological & social shift.

Cooperation is the corner stone behaviour for human success. It has allowed us to succeed where a single person would have failed.

Ultimately it will allow us to reach for the stars.

Wellness is well-being.

It is NOT happiness. It is NOT just physical health. It is holistic

It is an alignment between living a purposeful, values-based life that integrates mind, body, relationships and purpose.

It is the alignment that results in a harmonious inner relationship as well as a relationship with the outer world.

It is sustainable and ecologically sound.

The question is a reasonable one and much of the answer is contained in this deck all ready.

Maturity comes only when one has the intention to define one's purpose and meaning and to release our attachments to that which keeps us stuck in a less favourable place.

This is another key in our evolutionary journey to an aligned masculinity.

It requires the emotional courage to align what I say or profess to what I do. This in turn allows those around me to trust in me. The result is being able to co-exist with others in an authentic way.

The final point in this proposal is that in order to stay aligned I need to be prepared to maintain attuned. I need to accept that I need to work on myself just as if I was tuning a fine instrument for a performance.

Gunter is a psychologist, speaker, author, mentor, coach and facilitator with over three decades of counselling and organisational development experience. His passion for people, philosophy and psychology has allowed him to forge a curriculum to assist his clients to move beyond simply surviving in this world and to learn how to truly thrive within it.
In a world where the demands on the individual and the family has become more and more challenging, Gunter’s focus is on getting things back on track in three key areas:
Individually
the family and
at work.
His expertise, experience and who he is as a person has benefitted teenagers, young adults, and adults in overcoming serious psychological and social challenges, whilst the parents he has worked with have found a new sense of vision and purpose in raising their children through realigning their relationship with their child.
Gunter has also been involved with small businesses as well as with large multinationals and public service organisations where he has provided executive and business coaching that has assisted many clients to achieve a high level of professional success.
In recent times, Gunter’s interest in men’s health issues has led to him to develop the project ‘Making Good Men Great’ that aims at helping men to rethink masculinity, provide a way to help men step away from an outmoded way of being, and become an inspiration to others.
Personally, Gunter has been successfully married for the past twenty-five years and has two adult children. He is a keen surfer, and when time allows likes to indulge his passion in percussion and creative writing.
He is the author of a historical action/adventure novel ‘Mountains of the Sea’ as well as short plays and stories.