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How to Turn off a VC
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Published on Jan 05, 2016
Talk from Secret Sauce Conference 2016
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PRESENTATION OUTLINE
1.
How to TURN off a VC
Or simply: "Don't do dumb stuff" @jasonball
Photo by
MattysFlicks
2.
This presentation was crowdsourced
Photo by
Marco Gomes
3.
NDA
Please sign the NDA under your chair before listening to this presentation.
I won't talk to you unless you do it.
No, really.
Photo by
ilConte
4.
ELEVATOR PITCH
We're the "Uber" of, the "Facebook" of, the "Google" of... Tinder for Dogs, etc
Photo by
Lucio®
5.
MON 10:58AM
HI JASON, PLS CAN U LET ME KNOW WHEN U R FREE 2 DISCUSS A STEALTH STARTUP I'M RUNNING? :)
6.
Mountains from Molehills
Our cumulative revenue is...
Our gross revenue is...
Cumulative downloads...
"we are growing revenues by 200% month on month for the past 6 months"
Photo by
Baron Reznik
7.
Financials - aka Crazy talk
Our sales will start in 2017 with £565K growing to to £100M by year end
"We won't be raising any more money after this round"
Numbers in deck don't match back of envelope calculations
When they have to scale and don't know their acquisition channels but forecast huge revenues
Photo by
black.zack00
8.
Funding Round
When they ask me how much they should raise and don't realize that it is 100% linked to their operations
Put the pre-money valuation of the round you're just getting started to raise on your 1-pager. Makes me wanna yell at them.
(6 month old company) "a few of the angels would like to do secondary"
Photo by
Curtis Gregory Perry
9.
WED 11:57AM
OH HAI JASON, DID YOU SEE MY MESSAGE ABOUT MY STEALTH STARTUP? WEN CAN WE MEET PLS?
10.
It's a billion dollar market and we only need 1% to become a unicorn
Photo by
Opals-On-Black.com
11.
We don't have any competitors
Photo by
puliarf
12.
FRI 12:19PM
FWD : STEALTH STARUP (5)
HI MILES, NAGRAJ, PATRICK, JAMES, JACK
I'M RUNNING A SUPR SECRET STEALTH STARTUP. WEN CAN WE MEET?
13.
my week
Monday: Travel, VC meeting, Co meeting, Dinner
Tuesday: Breakfast meeting, Board meeting, Travel
Weds: VC meeting, Board lunch, Board Meeting, Team call
Thurs: Investor breakfast, Board meeting, Board lunch, Co meeting, Co call
Friday: Email, Invoices, Expenses, Second Inbox, Presentations Prep
Photo by
keoshi
14.
pressure
I am fundraising for 3 weeks now - we need to close the round before Christmas, so you still have 4 days...
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ThenAndAgain
15.
YOUR TURN
@jasonball
Photo by
andreas.klodt
Jason Ball
qualcommventures.com
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