Healthy vs Unhealthy Beliefs

TWO TYPES OF BELIEFS:

1. Irrational, unhealthy, limiting beliefs

2. Rational, healthy, empowering beliefs

UNHEALTHY BELIEFS:

• Rigid, dogmatic, inconsistent with reality

HEATHLY BELIEFS:

• Flexible, logic, consistent with reality

When your beliefs are unhealthy you tell yourself you can’t cope with difficult, demanding situations:

For example: “This situation is unbearable. I can’t stand it. It’s awful.”

When your beliefs are healthy you can accept, tolerate and cope with the challenges of life.

For example:"I’m not welcoming this, but I can tolerate it. Its unpleasant, but its not that bad – I can deal with this. I can cope.”

People with unhealthy beliefs are INSISTENT – they place unrealistic DEMANDS upon themselves and the environment.

For example: “I MUST be over this by now. I absolutely SHOULD be thriving by now. I HAVE TO be relaxed, calm and in control all the time.”

Rather than have PREFERANCES they place unrealistic demands upon themselves. “I must succeed… but I didn’t, I failed, therefore I’m inadequate, a loser, not good enough.”

Needless to say, those with unhealthy beliefs struggle to deal effectively with the challenges of life. They can’t tolerate the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings associated with the difficulties of life and so try to avoid them.

Unhealthy beliefs about a perceived challenge:

• Exaggerated view of the perceived threat/lack of perspective (anticipatory anxiety);
• Inability to cope leads to avoidance/safety seeking;
• Distorted, unhelpful thinking.

Those with unhealthy beliefs insist and demand – they say:

I MUST, I HAVE TO, I SHOULD …

But they can’t always get what they want …

ITS AWFUL, TERRIBLE, HORRENDOUS

I CAN’T TOLERATE IT. I CAN'T COPE. I’M USELESS, HOPELESS, HELPLESS .. A STUPID, USELESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING FAILURE!

Catastrophic, B&W, perfectionist ‘end of the world’ thinking.

Those with healthy beliefs don’t insist on or demand anything– they say:

“I would like to feel calm and relaxed all day today. That’s what I want but I’m not going to insist upon it.”

Thanks for Listening!